Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

Attached The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love Is there a science to love In this groundbreaking book psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S F Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory the most advance

  • Title: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
  • Author: Amir Levine Rachel Heller
  • ISBN: 9781585428489
  • Page: 368
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Is there a science to love In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S F Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory the most advanced relationship science in existence today can help us find and sustain love Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent child relationship,Is there a science to love In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S F Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory the most advanced relationship science in existence today can help us find and sustain love Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships until now Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or individuals is embedded in our genes In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner s ability to love them back AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate or potential mates follow It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, fulfilling connections.

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      Published :2019-04-07T04:56:18+00:00

    About “Amir Levine Rachel Heller

    • Amir Levine Rachel Heller

      Amir Levine Rachel Heller Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love book, this is one of the most wanted Amir Levine Rachel Heller author readers around the world.

    282 thoughts on “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

    • I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I read this. Not because it wasn't good, but because I have this thing about posting relationship-y self-help books on here. I don't want people to know that I spend time thinking about my relationship status. I want to seem cooler than that.This book is better than most relationship books I have read. The author describes how attachment theory can be applied to romantic relationships. There are three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Acco [...]


    • Bleh. This book had a promising premise and while the underlying theory has some merit, I found the explanations too simplistic, and the examples too stark (almost caricature-like) to capture the nuances of human personalities and relationships. So, while the book had several “A-ha!” moments, the suggestions of what to DO with this information was lacking.Also, as someone who fell into the Secure/Avoidant category, this book was a let down. There was little acknowledgment that some (most?) p [...]


    • Interesting read on the theory of adult attachments in romantic relationships. While the categorisation of every human relationship into 3 categories of Secure (50% of the population), Anxious (21%), and Avoidant (25%) may not be all inclusive and exhaustive for those with a discerning and scrutinising disposition; however, it does offer a useful insight into your relationships, if you can relate to one of the 3 categories.What I liked about the book is that it doesn't tell you which is the best [...]


    • The first (and maybe only) thing to understand about attachment theory, is that attachment is simply a fancy word for love. Plain and simple. Once you understand that, the rest of the theory makes perfect sense. The next thing to know is that our patterns of bonding and repairing are conditioned i.e. learned, beginning in relationship between caregivers and infants, and continuing into adulthood.The last thing to know is that our relational conditioning i.e. attachment style can be problematic, [...]


    • **Attached…to this book**I’ll admit it. I am totally attached to _Attached_. But, not in an unhealthy way, really. I’ve read my fair share of books on relationships (including textbooks during my clinical training as a therapist), and I can honestly say that this book provides the most elegant framework for organizing, explaining, and rescuing relationship problems that I’ve seen. It clearly delivers on the hope that the authors have for this book: “We hope that you will use the relati [...]


    • Leave aside for a second that "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller slots everyone into 3 relationship attachment categories: secure (50% of the population), anxious (25%), and avoidant (25%) (I'm as suspicious of GUT paradigms as the next wannabe scientist). However, the authors are both experienced and practicing psychotherapists, and use case after case to provocatively and persuasively put forth their theory, and explain how recognising your own category (and/or sub category) can help [...]


    • Don’t be fooled by the title. The title is like wishy washing voodoo magic to suddenly make a sparkly relationship appear. And that’s bullshit of course. The actual content of the book is not bullshit though. It opened my eyes, and so many puzzle pieces finally came together.The premise is that your childhood, but also any experience you had afterwards with intimate relationships, lead to certain attachment patterns. If you’re lucky, you’re securely attached. If you’re slightly less lu [...]


    • I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I read this. Not because it wasn't good, but because I have this thing about posting relationship-y self-help books on here. I don't want people to know that I spend time thinking about my relationship status. I want to seem cooler than that.However, I recently found myself dating a person who had me absolutely flummoxed. A friend suggested this book to me thinking it might offer some insight, and I read it rather quickly.This book is better than most relat [...]


    • It was a interesting and thought-provoking book. However, it's very simplistic and basically says the solution is to date a secure partner and then everything will be fine. Unless you already are secure, and then you can date almost anyone and everything will be fine. I don't think things are ever that neat. Also, a weird omission was that they never talked about a partnership with two anxious style people. They at least mention a few times that two avoidant people rarely get together and why, w [...]


    • This book was GREAT -- very enlightening around the three types of relationship styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant. One of the most enlightening things for me was that anxious-avoidant is a very common combination -- one person is looking for more closeness, and the other is actively avoiding it. Pretty soon, they both propogate each other's exact triggers and only make things worse! Avoidants don't date each other (they are both on the look-out for new and shiny), and an anxious-leaning pers [...]


    • I'm a bit miffed at myself for leaving this on my list to read for so long -- I wish I had read it sooner. It's a refreshing perspective on attachment theory as it relates to dating and relationships, and was extremely helpful in identifying some of my own tendencies and pitfalls, as well as observations of others. By helping to put things in perspective, I believe I can utilize the information presented to make mindful decisions about my interactions with others, as it pertains to my needs, my [...]


    • Kinda skimmed this one. It's a good primer on attachment styles but it is mainly targeted at anxious attachment issues and totally vilifies avoidant attachment issues, without delving much in to why a partner might have formed one or the other style. It's a "avoidant as villian, anxious as victim" narrative that repeats throughout and seems mainly targeted at helping anxiously attached folks. Maybe the authors figured anxiously attached partners are more likely to seek out a book like this but i [...]


    • Looks fascinating, and I really want to read it, but it can't be renewed any more.Picked the book up to take it back to the library and got completely sucked in. Finished with two days to spare!This book proposes to explain the recurrent relationship disaster I've reenacted for most of my life ( with 1.5 exceptions). The idea is that there are basically three attachment styles, much like the styles babies have of attaching to their mothers: anxious, secure, and avoidant. The authors propose this [...]


    • Wasn't quite what I was expecting, there was less science and more practical advice. I don't think I got as much out of it as some people might (omg if you actually try to make your partner jealous and you are not in middle school, read this book asap), but I think the overall framework they presented is a useful concept.By classifying folks as anxious, secure and avoidant and not attaching any value judgments to those relationship styles, I think that is helpful for everyone. Sort of like how r [...]


    • I don't even know how to express how life-changing this book was/is for me. I read it in two days, devoured it. I think every person on earth should read this book, it would make all relationships and interactions better, giving us all a common language to use to talk about how we act, what we fear and what we need. I'm starting to put the lessons into practice, and it's scary. Terrifying! But, I know I'm on the right path and with lots of practice and a little time, I'll be successfully managin [...]


    • If you're avoidant, I hope you're ready to feel REALLY REALLY guilty because you will feel like a shit heel after reading this book.Source: I feel like a shit heelWhat I enjoyed about it the most was that feeling of "YES! That IS exactly what happens! Someone else finally gets it!"It's a very heteronormative, monogamous book, so it was really interesting to read it through the polyamory lens. They put forward the idea that people can learn to become more "Secure" in their attachment. I hereby de [...]


    • Overall, I thought this book was well written, supported by good research and full of helpful insight. There were a few areas where I was left with questions or disappointments: 1. Why did they leave out disorganized attachment? It wasn't even included as a style. 2. I really appreciated the way they approached anxious attachment - describing it as an evolutionarily adaptive strategy, which should be embraced and used rather than changed or suppressed. Avoidant attachment was also described as e [...]


    • This is what I get for not properly vetting my interlibrary loan requests. Contrary to what I thought I was checking out, this is not a popular science non-fiction-type book about the psychology of adult attachment. This is a self-help book, which now that I re-read the subtitle, is clear before even opening the book. Mea culpa.Ok, but dating sucks and is generally demoralizing and I can think of about a million other unpleasant activities in which I'd rather engage, so I gave it a quick read/sk [...]


    • In a culture that scorns dependence and exalts self-reliance, Levine and Heller make the argument for the Dependency Paradox—that the more effectively dependent people are on one another in their inner circle, the more independent and daring they become in the greater world. Or the opposite of Kanye’s central thesis in The Life of Pablo.The basic premise of Attached is to challenge present-day thinking that dependence is weak and that mastering and controlling our emotions is strong. Not onl [...]


    • (Mid-read: Part self-help and part research. I'm digging the ideas about adult attachment so far, and using it as a catalyst to reflect on the patterns between my partner and me.)After finishing it, I would recommend this book to anyone interested in attachment research, especially what it means for adult relationships and how much control one has if early attachment was insecure. Because it gives anecdotes from several couples, and names a lot of actual research (that can be found in the biblio [...]


    • Suffers from "Terrible Title Syndrome". Otherwise, good read that distills and explains attachment systems in adults.


    • this was more helpfull than i thought it would be and rlly,,, called me out on my bullshit at times i´d really recommend this to anyone tbh its super insightfull


    • This book was such a revelation for me! Before reading it, I was only slightly familiar with attachment theory but after reading it, I can see how attachment theory applies to relationships. Whether you're anxious, secure or avoidant, this helps to explain so many relationship issues people have. Attachment really helped shed a lot of light on the issues in my relationships. I see now that people have different capacities for intimacy. Some people have a need and desire to be close and intimate [...]


    • Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is an extremely quick pop-psychy read filled with magazine-style quizzes, scorecards and geegaws designed to assist with love relationships, but distinguished by a skeleton of very real psychological and social science research on attachment theory.Levine and Heller's thesis is that we all fall into three categories of attachment style: anxious, secure or avoidant, and the various combinations, with their attendant strengths and pitfalls, constitute the [...]


    • Why do some romantic relationships last a lifetime, while the wick of other romantic relationships quickly burn out and fade away? This is a question I have pondered repeatedly, but with the knowledge and insight I have gained from 'Attached' I have come to a conclusion of deep understanding. The book begins with research on how our main parental attachment figure later influences our adult romantic relationships. The main attachment styles discussed throughout this book are: secure, anxious, an [...]


    • A friend of mine suggested this to me a few weeks ago, as one of the best relationship books she's read, and it is one of the books I've come across in the self-help/psychology/relationship category. Truthfully, I wish I had this book years ago, but, as the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher appearsAnd the right books get put on our bookshelves at the right times.It basically covers our individual attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant) and how we can better recognize our a [...]


    • how come no one told me before? codependency doesn't existor at least is overblown "problem" in the self-help marketplace. it is a natural and biological response to be dependent on an intimate partner or caregiver, so of course we will be impacted by the actions, absence, etc of others. that's OKAY! wow! another (along with Wired for Love) validating and positive look at the potential for relationships to offer us support, understanding, and healing in a way our primary caretakers didn't--not b [...]


    • I had quite an interesting and fulfilling journey with this book over almost 7 months. It assissted me in analysing and unloking many attachment and communication issues both in my past relationships and my current one. I navigated a new path of self discovery, acceptance and development, and i am very grateful for the person who recommended it to me. Despite the ugly book cover, some over simplified parts, and the only heterosexual assumptions/language across the book, i enjoyed and benefited f [...]


    • Do not read this book. It may be comforting for someone to affirm that being needy or aloof is just your attachment style, but you're doing yourself a disservice. As someone with a degree in psychology, I disagree with the conclusions the author draws from the research. An distant or anxious "attachment style" is an unhealthy way to approach relationships, and likely a sign that there are deeper issues to work through. The worst thing you can do is to put on one of their labels, and use that as [...]


    • I almost stopped listening to this in the first half hour, because it sounded like the worst of all possible pop-psych books, where it's mostly a sales-pitch for how this wonderful new science will solve all of your problems. I'd heard things about attachment parenting, most of which make me roll my eyes and/or fume about unrealistic perfectionists who tell you with a straight face how sacrificing 100% of yourself for your squalling infant will eventually be rewarded with unparalleled joy. So: s [...]


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